I generate stories. People listen to my stories. People like my stories. Those are my stories. Every time I run out of stories I start to think how to make a new story. I don’t want just making any stories. I want to tell something that is sexy, something exotic….
Stories, they don’t just exist; they need to be created! And when they are brought into life they could be told. And depending on how interesting they are they might outlive civilizations. But, how do we generate stories? Well, stories are made of characters. One way is to pick up a character and play the role of that and eventually bring more characters into the story & so on!
I play roles. I’m the roles. Roles play me. Roles are me. I’m not the same as roles, as long as I’m not playing the roles. I am the roles; roles are me. Where is the sweet sovereignty?
--from sometimes ago
7/2/06
On prejudice
Face to face with prejudice and I refuse to see it. I refuse to acknowledge it. I refuse to give it existence. I’ve long decided to blame myself, to improve my social status, and to stay focused. However, sometimes I doubt if my 'just world' ideology has any bases! If hard work and honesty does in fact liberates one from his shortcomings? What else can one do? If the true value of any philosophical disposition is to be determined based on its consequential fruits then I am bound to follow my current maxim. So, let it be!
--from sometimes ago
--from sometimes ago
Conversations with a friend (firstcomet):
The Big Dog wrote:
"To all who posses the earth:
Beyond your borders, you are a homeless kid who cannot find her mother
Beyond your borders, you do not understand anyone and no-one understands you
To all who own a house:
Beyond your house, your privacy will be violated
Beyond your Bathrooms, you are no opera singer
Beyond your bedrooms, you are not a porn star anymore!
To all who own a business
Mind you own business!
Beyond your business, it is not your business!
To all who posses any matters:
Beyond your possessions, you are the beggar!
Beyond your possessions, it is the “Mine!” of others and nothing else matters!
To all who posses a belief:
Beyond your belief, you have nothing to believe
Beyond your belief, you are lost and empty
To all who possess a culture:
Beyond your culture, you have no culture!
Beyond your orient culture, you are uncivilized and disoriented
To all who posses a friend:
Beyond your friends, you are lonely and deserted
Beyond your friends, you are the most stranger of all
To all who posses youth:
Beyond your youth, your back gets as round as a circle!
Beyond your youth, you are an old star with no audience
Beyond your youth, you are an old hero with no follower
To all who posses life:
Beyond life, you are corps of bad odor
Beyond life, no-one cannot live with you for a second
To all who posses a troubled mind:
Beyond your troubled mind, there is a beautiful mind!
Hold on to your troubled minds!
Hold on patiently to the pain of rejection
The Day of Beautiful mind will come!"
firstsignal replied:
"Beyond a glass of water there is a bottle of beer
If you have it you'll have no fear!
Beyond a bottle of beer there is a glass of wine
if you have it you'll stop to whine!
Beyond love there is reason
In reason you will find your own prison!
Beyond darkness there is light
Both being the same for a person with no eyesight!
Beyond your daily routine there is an exciting life
Which you can destroy by getting a wife!
Beyond the priests there are the laymen
The only difference, there acquaintance with the hymen!
Beyond human there is the saint
With no fault he is like a pale paint!
Beyond sitting on your butt there is an adventurous ride
Which one to choose? I let you to decide!
If you can’t afford a car you can ride on mules
The good news: they don’t use no fuels!"
"To all who posses the earth:
Beyond your borders, you are a homeless kid who cannot find her mother
Beyond your borders, you do not understand anyone and no-one understands you
To all who own a house:
Beyond your house, your privacy will be violated
Beyond your Bathrooms, you are no opera singer
Beyond your bedrooms, you are not a porn star anymore!
To all who own a business
Mind you own business!
Beyond your business, it is not your business!
To all who posses any matters:
Beyond your possessions, you are the beggar!
Beyond your possessions, it is the “Mine!” of others and nothing else matters!
To all who posses a belief:
Beyond your belief, you have nothing to believe
Beyond your belief, you are lost and empty
To all who possess a culture:
Beyond your culture, you have no culture!
Beyond your orient culture, you are uncivilized and disoriented
To all who posses a friend:
Beyond your friends, you are lonely and deserted
Beyond your friends, you are the most stranger of all
To all who posses youth:
Beyond your youth, your back gets as round as a circle!
Beyond your youth, you are an old star with no audience
Beyond your youth, you are an old hero with no follower
To all who posses life:
Beyond life, you are corps of bad odor
Beyond life, no-one cannot live with you for a second
To all who posses a troubled mind:
Beyond your troubled mind, there is a beautiful mind!
Hold on to your troubled minds!
Hold on patiently to the pain of rejection
The Day of Beautiful mind will come!"
firstsignal replied:
"Beyond a glass of water there is a bottle of beer
If you have it you'll have no fear!
Beyond a bottle of beer there is a glass of wine
if you have it you'll stop to whine!
Beyond love there is reason
In reason you will find your own prison!
Beyond darkness there is light
Both being the same for a person with no eyesight!
Beyond your daily routine there is an exciting life
Which you can destroy by getting a wife!
Beyond the priests there are the laymen
The only difference, there acquaintance with the hymen!
Beyond human there is the saint
With no fault he is like a pale paint!
Beyond sitting on your butt there is an adventurous ride
Which one to choose? I let you to decide!
If you can’t afford a car you can ride on mules
The good news: they don’t use no fuels!"
On This
Remember when you were a child and your mom would tell you stories. Remember, it sometimes would make you laugh, occasionally you couldn’t help but cry, and there always was a hero who would make it worthy to listen to that story. Well, this is a story. And you are the hero of this story. And there are always things to learn from a story. And there are always times to laugh. You sometimes dreamt of yourself as being the hero of your bedtime stories. And some other times you never met your hero in your dreams. Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean that a bedtime story is not worthy of listening. And we are all near our bedtime. So let the story go on…
--From sometimes ago
--From sometimes ago
A double-headed sword:
An analysis of feminism and reaction of the masculine world.
Women found themselves being neglected and discriminated set to make changes.
In response well established, politically and intellectually oriented masculine world resists.
It adds to the level of frustration and dissatisfaction.
The masculine world, who found itself uncomfortable with the state of affairs, devices the least costly solution:
Creating illusionary concepts:
� Emotional intelligence
� Intuition
� Sensitivity
Women accepted and celebrated the new definition.
The capitalism invested on the new concept.
As a result, women who found enough time and all the freedom to build a new world based on this new concept, grew to the point of finding the masculine world rough, emotionally unsatisfying.
And that in termed paved the road towards more intimate relationship with other woman. As being advertised by MTV, the Hours�.
On Loneliness
To be alone is to be all one. That is to be whole. So you can see yourself as you are in the mirror of your solitude. You can reflect on your past and ponder about your future.
As we are all carried away in the turbulent river of life, we seek a moment of respite by grasping on a hanging branch of the tree of solitude. While in seclusion we might feel the pressure of the river. Nevertheless, we are determined to stay firm and steadfast. Because, we know to be carried away is to lose that essence that we call the spirit of man!
"Life lived as an event is a drama. Life reduced to process becomes vegetation."--Abraham J. Heschel
--from sometimes ago
As we are all carried away in the turbulent river of life, we seek a moment of respite by grasping on a hanging branch of the tree of solitude. While in seclusion we might feel the pressure of the river. Nevertheless, we are determined to stay firm and steadfast. Because, we know to be carried away is to lose that essence that we call the spirit of man!
"Life lived as an event is a drama. Life reduced to process becomes vegetation."--Abraham J. Heschel
--from sometimes ago
7/1/06
Just need another glass of wine (firstcomet)
Tonight is one of those nights when the goddess of art comes down the incomprehensible to give us mortals company:
So, Welcome! And I press thee to relieve us from all distress.
Because, tonight this mistress of mine is drinking somebody else's wine!
And stress is the share of this -so pretending- fortress heart of mine!
But, never mind and leave the tragedy behind.
Because, the music is on and when the goddess of art sings her divine rhyme,
The 'beautiful' and the 'bright as the moon' all come to me!
I guess life is fine;
I just need another glass of wine!
And improvise another line:
"ein' feste Burg ist unser gott"1
--SH.N
11/23/2004
1)A mighty fortress is our god, by Martin Luther.
This song has been called "the greatest hymn of the greatest man of the greatest period of German history" and the "Battle Hymn of the Reformation." See: http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/m/i/mightyfo.htm
6/28/06
Be yourself!
to be nobody but yourself
in a world which is doing
its best night and day
to make you like everybody else
means to fight the hardest battle
which any human being can fight
and never stop fighting.
--E.E.Cummings
How can one explain this persistent tendency for convergence to mean?
What happened to us? Being sucked into the absurd rituals of our societies. Ideals that are long forgotten! Dreams that are long being caffeinated! Heroes who are long being defeated! And legends that are eternally afflicted by the pestilent disease of herd mentality!
Now, wake up and look yourself in the mirror! Ponder upon what the mirror reflects and reflect upon what your inner being commands!
You are trapped forever if you are not honest to yourself today!
in a world which is doing
its best night and day
to make you like everybody else
means to fight the hardest battle
which any human being can fight
and never stop fighting.
--E.E.Cummings
How can one explain this persistent tendency for convergence to mean?
What happened to us? Being sucked into the absurd rituals of our societies. Ideals that are long forgotten! Dreams that are long being caffeinated! Heroes who are long being defeated! And legends that are eternally afflicted by the pestilent disease of herd mentality!
Now, wake up and look yourself in the mirror! Ponder upon what the mirror reflects and reflect upon what your inner being commands!
You are trapped forever if you are not honest to yourself today!
Rhinoplasty
If one can show significant correlation between an individual’s ‘nose-topology’, ‘resistance to common cold’ and ‘success in the mating process’ then a triangular cause-and-effect relationship between the abovementioned factors can be established.
The proposition is that certain subsets of the population, either due to environmental factors or their genetic makeup are less resistant to common cold and thus the rate of their mortality due to the associated virus is higher. In particular, the Homo- sapiens nose is remorselessly attacked by the common cold virus, and as a result deformation of the nose over an extended period of time is unavoidable. Thus, a correlation between the noise topology and the resistance to common cold could be established if one can quantify the simultaneous presence of genes that lead to an abnormal nose topology and those that severely impair organism’s immunity towards common cold.
Given that the proposition holds, the next step is to conduct a subjective experiment where the degrees of attractiveness of a male/female subject by a random population of females/males is assessed and correlated with the subject’s nose topology.
Here one can expect that the sexes within the population have developed the skill to detect the resistant strains and sieve out the vulnerable ones. Such ability could have definite evolutionary advantages and thus accumulated in the surviving populations.
Even though due to advances in medical sciences the common cold is not considered a serious health threat, the evolutionary acquired repugnance towards abnormal nose topology hinders the normal process of the afflicted individual’s life. Thus, Rhinoplasty as a feasible solution champions the cause of human liberation from the rubbles of time where the rabbles’ intellect fail!
The proposition is that certain subsets of the population, either due to environmental factors or their genetic makeup are less resistant to common cold and thus the rate of their mortality due to the associated virus is higher. In particular, the Homo- sapiens nose is remorselessly attacked by the common cold virus, and as a result deformation of the nose over an extended period of time is unavoidable. Thus, a correlation between the noise topology and the resistance to common cold could be established if one can quantify the simultaneous presence of genes that lead to an abnormal nose topology and those that severely impair organism’s immunity towards common cold.
Given that the proposition holds, the next step is to conduct a subjective experiment where the degrees of attractiveness of a male/female subject by a random population of females/males is assessed and correlated with the subject’s nose topology.
Here one can expect that the sexes within the population have developed the skill to detect the resistant strains and sieve out the vulnerable ones. Such ability could have definite evolutionary advantages and thus accumulated in the surviving populations.
Even though due to advances in medical sciences the common cold is not considered a serious health threat, the evolutionary acquired repugnance towards abnormal nose topology hinders the normal process of the afflicted individual’s life. Thus, Rhinoplasty as a feasible solution champions the cause of human liberation from the rubbles of time where the rabbles’ intellect fail!
6/26/06
"Our whole reward is seeing!" --Saint Augustine
Predicting hand movement from cortical activities!
Input: neural activity of 80 neurons over a period of one second.
Output: Predicted hand position, velocity, and acceleration.
Method: Support Vector Regression (SVR).
>> log.evaluate.validation
ans =
pvaf1: 0.7351
pvaf2: 0.7334
rsqrd1: 0.8656
rsqrd2: 0.8723
coefdet1: 0.7493
coefdet2: 0.7609
pvaf_cmbnd: []
net_node: [2x2889 double]
What keeps you going?
6/23/06
>>aulook | grep firstsignal
65844/firstsignal CURR[marvin ,Jun 23 04:30:09] cyc=1 cmd=./dotask_kal
65845/firstsignal CURR[meme ,Jun 23 04:30:10] cyc=2 cmd=./dotask_kal
65846/firstsignal CURR[marvin ,Jun 23 04:30:10] cyc=3 cmd=./dotask_kal
65847/firstsignal PEND cyc=4/20 pri=9 host=@real nomax ./dotask_kal gdata_DAT11_06_X kal_parms_v01 # 1 20 0 3
65632/firstsignal PEND cyc=1/20 pri=5 host=@4G nomax ./dotask_lssvm gdata_DAT11_06_X_prop lssvm_parms_v01 # 1 20 0 5
>>whoami
go to bed
65844/firstsignal CURR[marvin ,Jun 23 04:30:09] cyc=1 cmd=./dotask_kal
65845/firstsignal CURR[meme ,Jun 23 04:30:10] cyc=2 cmd=./dotask_kal
65846/firstsignal CURR[marvin ,Jun 23 04:30:10] cyc=3 cmd=./dotask_kal
65847/firstsignal PEND cyc=4/20 pri=9 host=@real nomax ./dotask_kal gdata_DAT11_06_X kal_parms_v01 # 1 20 0 3
65632/firstsignal PEND cyc=1/20 pri=5 host=@4G nomax ./dotask_lssvm gdata_DAT11_06_X_prop lssvm_parms_v01 # 1 20 0 5
>>whoami
go to bed
6/22/06
DNA is a chain of chemical nucleotides consisting of 4 bases: adenine (A), thymine (T), cytosine (C), and guanine (G) [1].
In the human genome there are about 3 billion bases.
Since there are 4 possibilities for a given base, then each base can be represented by 2 bits (say 00=A, 01=T, 10=C, 11=G).
So, there are approximately (3billion x 2bits)/2^30 ~ 5.6gigabits of information in the entire human genome.
Now, half of an individual's genome comes from his biological father and another half from his mother.
Therefore, during the intercourse 2.8gigabits of information is transmitted.
Averaged across ages 15-44 an intercourse lasts for roughly 20min (very optimistically) [2].
Thus, the average information transmission bandwidth is about:
(2.8gigabits x 1byte/8bits)/(20min x 60sec/min) ~ 306 Kbytes/sec
In comparison, my Cox Communication internet speed is about 1243.5 Kbytes/sec (almost 4 times faster or equivalent to the transmission speed of a 5 minutes long intercourse) [3]. This is an interesting case of human intelligence equating/beating nature in efficiency!
[1]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deoxyribonucleic_acid
[2]http://answers.yahoo.com/question/?qid=1006042220265
[3]http://reviews.cnet.com/7004-7254_7-0.html
6/21/06
6/16/06
An sketch for an ideal life:
We sometimes feel discontent with our life, feeling a sense of 'something is missing', a vacuum. So, the question is what is it that is missing? Given that there was no prior expectation (an image of an ideal life) then the whole notion of missing parts seems unfounded. Thus, there ought to be some mental construct, that has been there for some time or is under development, that seeks its realization in the physical world. Here is one:
An individual with an advance degree- in a field of interest to the protagonist- that makes him of special demand to his society. The protagonist finds his vocation of great social importance, and simultaneously intellectually fulfilling. Consequently, he finds his day to day activities purposeful and passionately looks forward to another day of such rewarding engagement. He is well respected by his fellow human beings and meanwhile he has the luxury of avoiding them from time to time to indulge in his intellectual pursuits. He finds a beautiful girl who shares a great part of his convictions and is equally goal oriented and and purposeful. They respect each other's personal space and plant seeds of shared memories in their common grounds and patiently wait for the tree of their mutual love to flourish and bear fruits. Together they are whole and holy since they live an ideal life and promote an ideal society. They enjoy all that is human and they sublimate all that is all too human.
What is stopping the protagonist of our story to realize his mental image?
We sometimes feel discontent with our life, feeling a sense of 'something is missing', a vacuum. So, the question is what is it that is missing? Given that there was no prior expectation (an image of an ideal life) then the whole notion of missing parts seems unfounded. Thus, there ought to be some mental construct, that has been there for some time or is under development, that seeks its realization in the physical world. Here is one:
An individual with an advance degree- in a field of interest to the protagonist- that makes him of special demand to his society. The protagonist finds his vocation of great social importance, and simultaneously intellectually fulfilling. Consequently, he finds his day to day activities purposeful and passionately looks forward to another day of such rewarding engagement. He is well respected by his fellow human beings and meanwhile he has the luxury of avoiding them from time to time to indulge in his intellectual pursuits. He finds a beautiful girl who shares a great part of his convictions and is equally goal oriented and and purposeful. They respect each other's personal space and plant seeds of shared memories in their common grounds and patiently wait for the tree of their mutual love to flourish and bear fruits. Together they are whole and holy since they live an ideal life and promote an ideal society. They enjoy all that is human and they sublimate all that is all too human.
What is stopping the protagonist of our story to realize his mental image?
6/15/06
I guess we all have our own insecurities; for one person it might be her body image and for another her financial issues and yet for another her lack of formal education. It is interesting that we perceive of insecurity as a feminine attribute and yet it seems to be a universal characteristic of all human beings: I did not get enough love when I was a child, I was never good with math, my nose was big, my body was fat, my family was poor, my friends were ignorant, and you name it. so, one doesn't need to mention that if our peculiar case was in fact very common then it could not qualify as an insecurity. One of the causes of our discriminatory behavior is that we are “comparing creatures”. We learn that certain attributes are good (either through our nature or via nurture) and then we seek those attributes in ourselves and when we don't quite find it we get disappointed. One way of dealing with them is to try to improve upon ourselves. That comes with a great deal of suffering and energy expenditure and life is finite after all. Or alternatively, we can try to make peace with our shortcomings. We also have a sense of justice that tells us to what extent a given person (including ourselves) deserves certain privileges. So, we construct a system of proportions and correspondences and expect certain actions yield certain consequences and certain guys marry certain girls. Then, for the rest of our lives we live within the confines of these philosophical construct and practice our judgments. Occasionally, we see or hear cases that deviate from our expectations and it surprises us, but then we go on. What is wrong with this system?
6/11/06
Hello no-where-land! I am officially your citizen. I am a man of no special wanting. I'm the carrier of no special desire. I'm only a wanderer in your never ending land. The last time I checked I had forgotten what I had to say, what I yearned so long, what I had once sensed so intimately. No-where-land, I'm all yours, you know it right? No-where-land, don't take me wrong! Don't think you found a new lover; I'm just a no-where-man that naturally belongs to a no-where-land. In addition, a no-where-land that is loved by a man is just another beloved-land. I'm sure you don't want that, do you? A beloved-land is a boring land since it essentially belongs to a single man. But, a no-where-land is a projective plane that contains the voids of all beloved-lands. Thus, you are unbounded and uncounted! No-where-land, don't think that I'm afraid of loving you. In fact, tell you a secret I kind of like you and been checking you out! Ha ha ha, I got you going ... A no-where-land with a beloved-land's desires! How do you explain that? Why can't you just be content with being a no-where-land? Oh dear no-where-land, I should confess I'm guilty of hypocrisy myself. Since, I lied to you when I said I was a no-where-man! I've gotta go now. Since, in the world of alpha-men I'm still searching for my where-about. But, thanks for being there for me, my friend no-where-land!
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